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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988054">A Different Path</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EruriFics/pseuds/EruriFics'>EruriFics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bottom Levi Ackerman, Dominant Erwin Smith, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Levi Ackerman - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Self-Hatred, Smut, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:13:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,047</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EruriFics/pseuds/EruriFics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At the brink of death Erwin was saved. Levi had chosen him rather than Armin. Levi brought back a devil, he brought back the man he gave him purpose. A man who he would devote himself to.</p><p>A place where Erwin lived and Armin died.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman &amp; Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>103</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Choice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Collapsed on his knees, streams tracing his porcelain complexion, Levi was crouched over Erwin Smith.</p><p> “I should’ve”, a pause in his breaking voice. “you should’ve stayed, Erwin ... dam it all !”, he roared at a loss for words. </p><p>This had all been his fault. If he had simply followed through. If he had kept Erwin between the safe confines of the walls, none of this would have happened. It was his dammed fault. The one person he’d sworn to protect was now in his death bed, his breathing shallow, fading. </p><p>A pained throbbing clenched at the captain’s chest. His balance wavering as he leaned down into the little warm Erwin held. He craved even a snip of comfort of touch, he craved Erwins touch. His warmth was leaving, Levi would soon come to realize. As stoic as he was, Levi Ackerman was only human, suspect to human emotion and grief. </p><p>All the screaming voices around were irrelevant, nothing mattered in this precise moment. </p><p>“Armin! He needs the syringe!” a voice broke through. </p><p>That’s right. The syringe. The syringe Kenny had handed over, the one Erwin entrusted him with. Yes, the syringe. He could save him. He would, but in his haze he hadn’t realized that other member of their squad had fallen.</p><p>Armin Arlert.</p><p> Two of their most valued members lay before him. Erwin Smith was dying. Armin Arlert was scorched. No matter what they would leave with the death of someone beloved. The question now remained who was to be left behind?</p><p>The pained voices now had a belonging as Levi became aware of his surroundings once again. Eren was screaming, desperately pleading for the life of his friend. The dispare evident, something so somber that Levi recognized. He’d lost close friends as well and that look, oh how he knew that look so well. </p><p>Eren, Mikasa, and Armin they mirrored his own, Isabel and Furlan. While Levi had lost  them as a result of his arrogance Eren, Mikasa and Armin had a chance to save their friend. They had the opportunity to but he stood in their way. He would be the defining variable to determined who lived. </p><p>But could he be so cruel as to take away Armin from them?</p><p>What was the right decision here. Who would it be? How would he be so sure of it? It was his decision, it would be his decision to make, a decision Erwin had entrusted him with prior to the mission. </p><p>Erwin. Levi turned to look at his fallen friend, no the word friend was to little of a title to express the bond he and Erwin shared. </p><p>The bond and understanding they shared. </p><p>That’s right the bond they had shared. That they would continue to share. Erwin was the commander he had to be the right choice. Armin had potential but he didn’t have the dedication and drive Erwin possessed. No, he was convinced, he knew who he was going to save. </p><p>“I’m saving Erwin”, he spoke as a matter of fact. Reaching over for the box holding the syringe. </p><p>“No you can’t!”, Eren roared suddenly lunging forwards. “You promised! You promised it would go to Armin!”. </p><p>He had promised that. But that was before Erwin had been injured before he had a chance to save erwin. </p><p>“Erwin is alive, and he is the hope for all of us!”, Levi gritted out standing rigidly. </p><p>“No!”, Eren sobbed. “Armin.. he’s smart! You just can’t! Armin is whats best!”. Eren was desperate to save his friend. “ Armin is the one who thought of looking within the walls! Armin is our hope!”. </p><p>“No”, Levi had stated simply before Eren charged forwards. Exausted having just clashed with the beast titan Levi was beyond drained but yet found enough power to deliver a hard blow across Eren’s face. Sending Eren tumbling backwards, leaving him in a haze.</p><p>Reaching out desperately as he lay across the hard roof Eren called out, “Please don’t! Please save Armin”. The desperation was evident in his voice. </p><p>Stunned Levi began walking forwards, doubt suddenly arising. Had this been the best choice? Would it be right to save Erwin over Armin? </p><p>Frozen in place Levi wasn’t fazed when he was suddenly pinned to the ground by mikasa. With a delayed reaction he struggled to ease mikasa off. He was completely drained making his efforts futile against Mikasa. </p><p>“Take the syringe!”, Eren yelled desperately attempting to rise to his feet. <br/>The world froze across the commotion. </p><p>“Hurry Mikasa! I promised Armin we would see the ocean!”, Eren hollered shakily rising to his feet. </p><p>Through the commotion more of their comrades had show, hange among them. </p><p>Everything was fuzzy. He was confused. He was tired, exhausted he wanted to rest. <br/>His eyelids were fluttering when he’d heard the phantom voice. </p><p>
  <em>“I promise you Levi”, that voice. Erwin smith. </em>
</p><p>Yes he’d promised to serve Erwin, to be his blade to ensure that Erwin reached his goals. To severe Erwin. Erwin Smith was his purpose. </p><p>A surge suddenly sparked throughout his nerves. Sparks ignited underneath, a surge of power, adrenaline coursing through him. Like autopilot, a drive, a goal was set. </p><p>He had no control as his body simply moved acting on instinct. His head slamming forwards clashing with Mikasa’s head a splurge of blood bursting. His knee drove upwards as he swung her off careless as to any damage he may have done as he charged towards Erwin. </p><p>Springing to his feet. Eren desperately ran to try and stop Levi but suddenly his body was forced to stop, he was held back. </p><p>Desperately glancing towards Mikasa, Eren was about to call for her when he noticed that she to was being held back. </p><p>“Everyone clear off!”, Hange ordered quickly directing everyone away from Levi. </p><p>“I trust you Levi”, the soft tone only lightly reaching Levi assuring him that Hange was there to aid him. </p><p>Erwin. The choice was obvious. He would be bringing back a monster, making Erwin a monster for his selfish wants. Hange, he wouldn’t disappoint her, he’d bring Erwin back to them. </p><p><br/>Piercing the skin, the thin end splurged forwards under the pressure injecting the spinal fluid. “I’m sorry, Erwin”, Levi murmured softly hinging his gear into a nearby house as he awaited Erwins wake.</p><p>Head down, a single tear rolled down the pale skin. Soft pants escaping as his eardrums erupted. </p><p>A sluggish creature formed, a mindless devil. There was no humanity in those eyes as they lunged forwards taking a yelling Berthold captive. </p><p>“No! Guys please! I don’t want to die!”, the screams just numb jabs to his chest as Levi watched Erwins jaws clamp down, Bertholds blood splattering.</p><p>He’d turned Erwin into this devil. Levi had done this. But he had also brought him back.</p><p>Levi had saved Erwin. </p><p>“Erwin”, he murmured springing forwards as steam rose. From the nape, he ruptured. </p><p>His blond hair disheveled, a mess as muscled tendons latched at his prominent cheekbones. Steam was rising at the wounds previously acquired. His skin was burning under Levi’s palms. He was out cold but alive. His heart was beating. </p><p>“Welcome back Erwin”. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Levi Ackerman wasn’t a companionate person, or so he told himself. Feelings made you weak and vulnerable which is why he’d refrained from willingly displaying affection towards others despite his underlining caring persona. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite so, Levi had found himself at Erwins bedside for hours on end. A foolish notion Levi soon began to realize. He’d been acting carelessly since Erwins immediate danger, but even so he couldn’t bring himself to proper composure. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A throbbing quickly arose at his temple. Another annoying feature that rose in which he would get these bothersome headaches. In short everything was a mess. From the mission to reach the basement to their return back into the walls. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Another headache Levi?”, Hange asked as they’d stepped into the room. “You really need to start taking better care of yourself, what would Erwin do if he found out you started skipping meals and rest again?”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All Levi offered was a shallow tsk craning his head away from Hange’s direction. While he valued their friendship despite how irritating she could be, Levi couldn’t feel more bothered at her constant hounding as of lately. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To think we came so close to loosing him”, Hange sighed, taking a seat at the edge of Erwins bed. “Erwin you had better wake up, after everything we did to keep you alive”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Yes, that’s right they’d kept Erwin alive. </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Offering a small grunt the edges of his lips turned upwards in a rare smile. Granted it may only have been because he was around Hange and Erwin. Across the entirety of the Scout regimen Hange, Erwin, and Mike surprisingly were of the select few who were able to witness Levi with his guard down. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The smile quickly faded as reality was once again seeping in. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hange how are things?” Levi asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Hange was appointed Commander for the time being but with the previous battle it was obvious that they had to take action. Another attack could well be under development and they could not afford to be wasting time. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A short silence broke for a second before Hange leaned down staring aimlessly at the wooden boards. “As well as they can be, considering the extermination of the scouts and the Beast Titan’s escape of course”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The beast titan had been a sensitive topic for Levi from the days they’d returned. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had let the Beast Titan get away prioritizing Erwins survival above all. Instead of engaging in battle the moment Erwin had been saved instead he had stood at his guard. He hadn’t know why he had reframed following after the beast titan. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You hesitated”, Hange pressed suddenly. “Why? You could’ve gone for the Beast Titan”. The tone they used was one making Levi uncomfortable. Hange Zoe was loud and obnoxious not calm and somber.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Reframing from answering his gaze was cast down to his feet. He could feel Hange’s eyes on him, dissecting him, as if they were trying to make sense of a puzzle.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The silence loomed over them an uncomfortable silence that was eventually broken at the abrupt movement on the bed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Levi and Hange instantly shot upwards at Erwins bedside as he slowly regained consciousness.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Two days, four hours and twenty three minutes was the duration in which Erwin had been out cold. Far longer than Eren Yegear but that could be because Eren had the power to shift for far longer albeit unbeknownst to the teenager. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly recognizing the two that stood at his bedside, an agonizing pain shot through his head momentarily. A dull ache came from his right arm, it felt heavy, his forearm especially burned. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">His right forearm, the arm he’d lost. </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instantly Erwin shot upwards flexing his right arm. “My arm? How?”, Questioning eyes tracked across Hange to rest accusingly on Levi. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shamefully looking down Levi answered the accusing eyes even while the explanation was not needed, his right arm was evidence enough of what had happened. “I gave you the syringe”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Taking a deep breath he urged himself to meet the oh so family blue eyes of his commander. “You are the colossal titan now”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clenching his fists Erwin allowed himself to accept it. He was the Colosal, what that meant for the future? He hadn’t a clue. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The basement did we succeed ?”, Erwin suddenly asked. Levi instantly went silent cowering away from Erwins gaze. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We didn’t”, Hange explained sadly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Armin and you were on the brink of death, a fight broke out between the Eren Mikasa and Levi”. No explanation was required as it was blatantly obvious what the fight was over. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get Eren and Mikasa in here”, Erwin requested of which Levi quickly complied. Erwin had lived in place of their beloved friend he felt as if he owned them at the very least an apology. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oi Mikasa, Eren, go to the commander’s room now” Levi abruptly ordered upon finding the two. The tention between them was evident. Levi after all was the reason Armin had been left to die. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A deep scowl was engraved in Eren’s features as they silently made there way to the Commander’s room. Levi falling several paces behind them, making no attempt to catch up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Levi’s attention was elsewhere. That look Erwin had cast him upon realizing that Levi had brought him back. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m going to take care of some stuff”, Levi muttered before turning on his heal and leaving before he had a chance to step into the room. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Levi simply couldn’t be around Erwin. The accusing eyes he’d dragged across Levi felt like a slap to the face. He had brought Erwin back to suffer in this bloody world and worst of all he had failed to keep his promise. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was all just to much to bear at the moment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hange and Erwin had just sat silently, Hange at unease upon Levi’s sudden departure. A knock at the door didn’t help. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Levi rarely knocked if ever. “Come in”, they called. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In came Eren and Mikasa and oddly enough there was no sight of Levi. “Where did Levi go?” Hange asked. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Captain Levi said he need to take care of some things”, Mikasa answered in place of Eren as he still clearly held high resentment towards Levi. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eyebrows knitted together Erwin turned glancing at the open window. An uneasy feeling was setting at the pit of his stomach. While it was normal for Levi to randomly disappear during the day he never did so when it involved either himself or hange. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He would have to deal with Levi later, but without a doubt would he get to the bottom of everything. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, well I just wanted to express my apologies”, Erwin explained softly watching the angry hue Eren held. “Armin was an amazing solider, and should he have been saved I have no doubt he would’ve done great things”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly the suppressed hatred diminished. Erwin was not the one Eren held resentment for. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes thank you Commander”, Eren uttered releasing a heavy sigh. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rest assured Eren, Armin’s sacrifice will not be in vain”, Erwin promised as he rose from his bed. “We will ensure humanity’s freedom, that I swear my heart to”. The tone Erwin held was commanding it sent shivers down Eren. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Commander Erwin Smith perhaps was the better choice in all of this. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes Commander”, Eren saluted, the burden of Armin’s death somehow feeling if possible a bit lighter. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Erwin sighed the moment the door was closed once again only leaving he and Hange. “Hange did something seem off with Levi?”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Of course Erwin had noticed, although that didn’t come as a surprise. Erwin and Levi after all had a much closer relationship, one could always tell if something was off with the other.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “I suppose, but I wouldn’t know Erwin, you know how Levi is” Hange replied. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yes Erwin did know. If something was wrong Levi would keep quiet. He really only expressed his problems to Erwin and even then it was sometimes a struggle to get the words out of him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You should be resting, your just going to make him mad Erwin”, Hange teased having known Erwin long enough to know that he was going out to look for the temperamental raven.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!&lt;3<br/>A new chapter is posted every sunday :) </p>
<p>Chapter 3 Release date: 03/20/2021</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In this cruel world it was kill or be killed, something Levi had come to terms with long ago. Everyone from animals themselves to people were always killing. It was a never ending cycle. Titans killed but people were no different. To smaller animals they were the titans. This damed world was cruel and yet humans found a desire to keep living.</p><p>They all clung to life desperately and Levi was no different. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘They all had something they were drunk on’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As deranged as Kenny had been, the man was right. Everyone was drunk on something it’s what kept them going. For some power, freedom, glory, but Levi hadn’t a clue what pushed him.</p><p>Kenny had guessed heroics but that wasn’t it. No, not in the slightest. Levi didn’t yearn for praise. </p><p>Matter of fact Levi didn’t know what he yearned for. What was his poison ? He could never really pin point it. In his younger years he’d just been surviving, as he was now. No, it wasn’t the same as now.</p><p>Now he was fighting for freedom, he was still fighting for his life but ultimately fighting for freedom or perhaps still desperately trying to cling to life. He was fighting alongside Erwin Smith.</p><p>That’s right Erwin Smith. He’d came along and changed everything for Levi. It was odd how the man brought such comfort and unease at the same time.</p><p>Erwin Smith had been the only man he’d ever obeyed with blind trust. Trust was what mattered deeply to Levi and somehow Erwin had managed to harbor it for himself alone. So what was it that made Erwin Smith so special? Well Levi hadn’t a clue what it was. But he did know the feeling that came around Erwin Smith, he knew that when the man was around he felt a surge of determination.</p><p>He felt a sudden urge to uphold his dreams to protect him, as a knight would to his monarch. </p><p>The trust he placed in Erwin was unyielding. He would gladly follow Erwin into the depths of hell, that is how much Levi trusted Erwin. He trusted the man with his very life. </p><p> </p><p>Soft puffs of air froze across the frost of the night. Perched upon a rooftop gazing at the endless sky. Watching those specks across the black sky. His slim silhouette perched silently. </p><p>Reaching out tracing the stars with his fingertips, “Isabel, Furlan”. The soft murmur came remembering the few nights they’d spent under the dark sky.</p><p>On rare nights would Levi’s mind wander back to his fallen comrades. To all those he lost. A shred of guilt seeping in every now and then. Could he have saved them, if he’d just tried harder ? Perhaps he could have.</p><p>Perhaps. Levi rarely though of perhaps but tonight he thought of perhaps just as he had been for the past few days. Contemplating his every actions. Riddled in guilt after almost loosing Erwin, riddled in guilt after letting the beast titan escape.</p><p>It had been his fault after all. </p><p>“You seem deep in thought, Levi”, the instantly recognizable voice registered.</p><p>Levi had surprisingly been so lost in the web that was his mind that he hadn’t realized Erwins approach. Erwin could travel swiftly and without sound but not so that he would be able to sneak up on Levi.</p><p>Kenny The Ripper had been the only one capable of sneaking up on him and yet here was Erwin Smith. </p><p>“Surprisingly quiet as well”, Erwin pointed out. Levi may in general be quiet but not so much around Erwin. The two had known each other long enough and trusted one another that Levi often let his guard down when he and Erwin were alone. </p><p>“I suppose a lot of things are different”, Erwin said as Levi only stared in complete silence.</p><p>The silence was in deed odd. By now Levi would have normally casually insulted Erwin.</p><p>Shifting slightly closer Erwin held Levi’s chin towards him. “What’s the matter Levi?”.</p><p>Quiet as ever Levi could only stare back, he didn’t know why his mind just went blank. It just did.</p><p>The lack of response only brought distant memories back. Several years ago when Erwin had to decipher the temperamental  raven’s emotions. </p><p>Releasing his chin, Erwin sighed softly, “Thank you Levi, Hange told me how you’ve been at my bedside”.</p><p>Quickly turning his head Levi’s face tinted with a light blush, “Tsk”.</p><p>Hange wasn’t supposed to breath a word to Erwin about how he acted. At the very least Levi hadn’t wanted her to. Hange hadn’t been there when he’d sworn to Erwin to kill the Beast Titan, she wouldn’t understand. Staying by his bed side was the very least Levi could do. </p><p>Grumbling Levi turned to face Erwin his mouth parting slightly as if he were about to speak before closing immediately. He wanted to apologize for letting the Beast Titan go, he wanted to apologize for forcing Erwin to continue living in this cruel world. Levi wanted to apologize for being selfish but he didn’t deserve the gratification of being forgiven for such things.</p><p>“Hange didn’t explain what happened with beast titan much other than that he escaped, they said I aught to ask you”, Erwin said placing a comforting hand on Levi’s back.</p><p>As Levi tensed under the palm, Erwin had his answer. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was guilt that Levi was feeling. The only time Levi had acted in such a way was back when Furlan and Isabel had been killed.</p><p>“You don’t have to explain yourself, not tonight”, Erwin murmured.</p><p>Rubbing small circles along Levi’s back Erwin smiled, “ Don’t blame yourself, backed into a difficult corner you did what you could Levi”.</p><p>Hearing the words fall from Erwins mouth set a blaze in the pit of his stomach. “ I didn’t protect them”.</p><p>Knitting his brows together Erwin looked to Levi in confusion.</p><p>Levi’s eyes had a cool hue, “I stood by you and let the beast titan get away, I didn’t fight like I said I would”.</p><p>Erwin stared absolutely baffled. He’d given Levi the order to kill the beast titan while he charged to his death. He’d trusted Levi to do so. “Why?”.</p><p>“I don’t know”, Levi lifted his head towards the sky.</p><p>Silence fell momentarily as Erwin stilled his comforting hand. </p><p>“I’ll atone for the lives the beast titan caused”, Erwin swore dropping his hand from Levi’s back.</p><p>In that instant Levi froze, a shred of terror seeping in, watching as Erwins lifeless body flashed across.</p><p>“Stop being so dam reckless”, Levi spat out.</p><p>Taken aback Erwin watched in surprise as fulling rage filled Levi. A hint in his eyes rivaling that of which he had all those years ago when Erwin had found him in the underground. But this look that Levi held was far more intense.</p><p>“Stop gambling your life as if you are expendable”, Levi hissed shoving Erwin firmly against the rooftop.</p><p>The pained hoarse tone was evident as Levi shoved Erwin down “Stop acting so dam noble!”.</p><p>Eyes wide Erwin swiftly pinned Levi, securing his slim body underneath. “Levi, I’m the colossal titan ”, he whispered.</p><p>Holding his hands captive with a singular hand Erwins free hand went to cup Levi’s chin tenderly. “ I’m going to have to gabble my life, you understand that don’t you?”.</p><p>He had sent hundreds to their deaths and when his turn finally came Erwin somehow had managed to escape.</p><p>Erwin owed them this much. “It’s my turn to risk everything Levi, it’s finally my turn to charge first into battle”.</p><p>Shamefully looking away Levi cast his gaze away from Erwin. Erwin was hell bent on risking his life but Levi would rest assured that Erwin wouldn’t face death a second time.</p><p>“Fine, Erwin”, Levi gave in. He would stand by Erwins side, at his protection from anyone or anything. Levi had his resolve for the time being.</p><p> </p><p>“Levi seems more attached to you as of lately Erwin”, Hange commented as they sat together for brunch.</p><p>After that night Levi had in deed been at Erwins side for the majority of the time, not that Erwin minded.</p><p>“Anything I should be aware of commander ?”, Hange suggested wiggling her eyebrows.</p><p>Across the original regiment all veterans knew that the bond Erwin and Levi shared went beyond just friends. Everyone of course besides Erwin and Levi themselves.</p><p>“No nothing happened”, Erwin answered choosing to ignore the obvious hint.</p><p>Smiling softly Hange sighed mixing her tea. Erwin and Levi both stubborn and blind to their own attraction. “ Well anyways Erwin, how are the plans for the basement going ?”.</p><p>“We leave in two days short of midday”, Erwin explained. The scouting expedition to venture back into shiganshina was set. They would finally uncover what secrets the basement held. They’re hold finally take another step closer to freeing humanity.</p><p>“And you’re certain you should come along?” Hange asked reasoning that it was foolish to risk Erwin’s life.</p><p>“Of course I am”, Erwin firmly answered.</p><p>“The enemy has fled and will not stage a counter attack this early”, Erwin reasoned. “And should they attempt to try anything, I am confident we can handle them”.</p><p>“Very well Erwin”, Hange sighed nibbling on a plain biscuit.</p><p>“But you know Erwin”, Hande grinned a devious glint falling. “I can’t wait to inspect every inch of the colossal titan”.</p><p>“Can you imagine what I can do with a titan that big!”, they exclaimed watching Erwin intently.</p><p>Bringing the teacup to his lips Erwin smiled watching Hange babble on about the possible experiments.</p><p>It was good to see Hange as they once were. Moblit had passed saving their life, and it really didn’t take a genius to see genuine bond between the two.</p><p>They’d lost countless of lives, to many to count but their sacrifices would mean something. They would find out the truth of their world. All the lives lost would be atoned for. The sacrifices made would not be in vain. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! </p><p>Updates are every Sunday :)</p><p>Chapter 4 release date: 03/27</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4: Thank You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>‘Learn to swing a knife and you’ll be fine on your own two feet’. </span>
  <span>It was a lesson drilled repeatedly, the first lesson actually taught to Levi as a child. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In the underground you trusted no one but yourself. If you can’t pull yourself up then you shouldn’t expect anyone else to do so. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trust in one another and dependence in others were two completely different things in Levi’s mind. You could trust other people but never depend on them blindly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Trusting blindly got you killed so there was no point in ever surrendering to someone like that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Oh but the irony in his ideology. For Levi not only trusted Erwin he trusted the man blindly, depended on him to an extent. Which is much more than what anyone had ever achieved. It ran far deeper than that in deed. His devotion to Erwin Smith was beyond that of a loyal friend, far more. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their trust was solid, an undeniable fact across the regiment as the two could comunícate without the need of speech. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was because of their trust that Levi was able to immediately spring forth taking down Titans. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The breach in the wall was sealed but they hadn’t had time to exterminate all the remaining titans, not after choosing to save Erwin when Levi had lost control. Had Levi left Erwin in the care of his comrades and gone after the beast Titan full force, would the lives sacrificed be atoned for but he hadn’t done so. It was something that would weigh heavily on his back. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Selfishly Levi had chosen to stay at Erwins side and in doing so the sacrifice Erwin and his comrades had made that day had been in vain. But that was why Levi would atone for it all, by ensuring Erwin survived no matter the cost, no matter if his life where in danger Levi swore to see Erwins dream come to light. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yes he would rightly charge for his death as those before him did, for it was what they deserved after he had so carelessly ignored their sacrifice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Guilt was what spurned Levi at the moment, as his blades tore into flesh. Blades dicing at limbs in a torturous motion before ending the attacks with snaps at the napes. Blood splattered across the steel reflective blades, steam rising from the evaporating crimson. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The spurn of adrenaline was exhilarating, like a drug pulsing in Levi’s veins agitatedly so. But quickly Levi was pulled from the momentary daze with a simple call from Erwin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In an instant Levi was mounted upon his horse riding alongside Erwin. All that was heard was the shaking ground of the half assembled squad. Hooves thundering across the distorted pavement as they rocked forwards throughout the once inhibited town.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Following under the Commander’s lead as thunder under the squad quaked, throttling towards Eren’s home. Towards the basement that would hold all truth. The truth of their world and what was to be of it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There on the left”, Eren’s voice rang motioning towards a crumbled house. Flashes of his mother flashing through the adolescent. Cruel sweet memories came of when he was child mouthing off to his mother, running with Armin and Mikasa. Remembering how Armin would go on about the fascinations beyond the wall, knowing no better that the moment they stepped outside the walls that only death would await at every corner. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Slipping silently off the horse Eren wandered over to the rotting piles of wood and stone tracing his hand over where his mother once lay helplessly under. Where Eren had helplessly watched his mother die simply because he was to weak and where only a few miles he had lost Armin. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A silent hand slipped onto Eren’s shoulders in reassurance. Mikasa silently showing her condolence for she too had practically lost her family once more. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A cruel place the world was in deed. Where everything fought and the never ending bloodshed reigned without end. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My mother died here”, Eren murmured softly tracing the splintered wood and turning his palm to trace over his now healed hand where it once was painted red and blue. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A silence fell as the squad allowed Eren to mourn and reminisce for a while longer before Erwin walked forwards. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Placing a firm hands on Eren’s shoulders Erwin sighed softly. “ For all the losses we have endured we will atone for Eren, for your mother and Armin will we atone for by liberating humanity”. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For all the losses they had accepted would they push forwards. The commander of all people understood. Eren’s anger that seethed for days on end incinerated in a second for the very least at that moment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was to soon to truly accept that Erwin had been chosen for the better of humanity instead of Armin but some part of Eren was coming to accept that what was done was done. That all they had left was to move on forwards and honor those who had fallen under the sake of humanity. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Emotions aside Eren allowed that harboring hatred to flee if only for the time being. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In his mother’s honor would Eren free humanity, and in Armin’s honor would Eren see the ocean for the both of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Taking a hold of the wooden pillar that once held his mother captive Eren tensed his arms shoving the pillar upwards. Unlike before he was strong enough this time and like a flowing dam did a feeling of relief wash over Eren as the first pillar was moved away. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The first step that would be taken in order to atone for all the death. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Silently the others came surrounding the crumbled structure lifting deberé away. Pillars of wood shoved aside to clear a path. Levi at Erwins side for the majority of it, his actions almost mirroring Mikasa’s defensive nature over Eren. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And at last the wooden hinge to the basement was revealed. The rusting over years making the opening of the door rather bothersome but before long the squad was walking down the cool stone stairs littered with cracks and mold that had formed over the years. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Eren the Key”, Hange called as they reached the wooden door first. Locked securely the door held humanity’s secrets. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It won’t open”, Eren fussed the key jamming with every attempt. To think they made it this far only to stopped. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Though before any further action could be taken Levi shoved forwards busting the door open full force. His strength was indeed unrivaled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t need to knock the entire thing down Levi”, Hange berated before all eyes turned to what the room held. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was simple looking with bookshelf’s and a desk and several drawers. It looked like any basic office for a doctor to have. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Look through everything, no doubt whatever was meant to be found is hidden”, Erwin ordered. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Swiftly every occupating individual rummaged through the office, looking through books and drawers, through the most minimal of dents. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Eren come here”, Hange suddenly called standing behind the main desk. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was a key hole at ridge of a drawer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly the drawer opened allowing access to whatever was held in secret. The wood was somewhat damp but firm an odd texture in comparison to everything else within the room. Within the drawer there where three books and what appeared to be a drawing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hange was the first to pull out the books to examine. Erwin reached out for the drawing of what appeared to be Grisha Yegear accompanied by a woman and unknown child. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s far to detailed and exact for a drawing”, Hange observed for the image was truly beyond the articulate hands of what people could create. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Brows knitted together Erwin turned the image to see soft letters printed. This was no drawing it was a photograph as explained through the writing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span><em>“I come from a civilization beyond the walls”</em>, the words instantly drew a heavy breath from Erwin. A shaken breath falling heart pounding as a singular tear edged and fell down across his chiseled cheek. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His father had been right all along. The truth he had told Erwin as a child was all true. This photograph was all the validation that his fathers theory’s had been correct. All the fighting and death had led up to this point. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Civilization existed beyond these walls. For once the stoic cascade Erwin had perfected over the years fell. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, all of you” Erwin murmured softly a rare smile gracing his features. “Thank you my soldiers, my comrades, my friends, for your sacrifices where not vain”. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The burden of lost lives somewhat less upon his shoulders as a shallow sob shook through Erwin. A display of emotion almost unreal to man who hadn’t sobbed in such a matter not since he was child. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Comforting hands raked up his back resting just at the shoulder blades. The warmth spreading throughout his body. Levi was at his side and Erwin was reminded of everything Levi had given. His devotion to the cause and to himself, loyalty Erwin did not believe he deserved but despite so had.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Having no more resistance broad arms came to envelop Levi in a tight embrace. Face pressed against levi’s head, nose against the soft raven locks of hair. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you Levi”, Erwin murmured softly. A single tear trailing down as he held onto Levi for dear life.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi everyone, I’m sorry I didn’t post last sunday but to make up for that I’ll be posting chapter 4 &amp; 5 today!</p>
<p>Thanks for reading!</p>
<p>A new chapter is posted every sunday but this coming sunday chapter’s 6 &amp; 7 will be posted as an apology for not posting last sunday! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After everything it was still astoundingly clear that Levi trusted him beyond words, beyond what could be explained. Levi’s trust and loyalty had been placed in Erwin’s hands and Erwin had no intention of ever letting it go.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Erwin may have the Colossal Titan now but nothing could compare to Levi. From the very beginning Levi had been exceptionally talented and he’d allowed  Erwin to use his talent, to ensure that Erwins wishes came true. Levi was truly someone he didn’t deserve but it didn’t matter because Erwin was a selfish man who would keep Levi at his side. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bursts of wind flew back pushing against them as they rode on forwards. Days after the expedition into the cellar and suddenly there had been hope. Suddenly they were out beyond the walls exploring. Something that had been so out of reach was now within their grasp. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And suddenly an unfamiliar smell mingled within the air. Salt, it smelt vaguely of salt. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Edging at a cliffside they all looked beyond the horizon in silence. An ocean, a body of water so large it doubled, tripled, any lake on their Island. The water was so clear, something like never before, like crystal shining reflecting as the sun slowly fell. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In trance like movements they all edged closer towards the sandy grounds. Shaken expressions firmly cast watching beyond, taking in such a marvelous sight. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s like nothing I’ve seen before and piles of it”, Hange gasped tracing her fingertips over the rough sandy texture. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sure there had been some sand near river edges and banks but nothing compared to this and besides unlike the lakes there was an ocean here. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Liquified tear ducks suddenly fell as Hange sprang forwards rushing towards the large abyss of the sea. The feeling exhilarating, like a rush as they fell forwards on their knees. The shallow tide going past their knees. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Exhilarating cries fell from them all, some of excitement, relief, and grief. Slowly one by one they all followed into the blue. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s so clear and cold and and!”, the words sputtering from Hange fell into incoherent sentences. Splashing water forwards they gasped in delight. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Erwin this this-“, tears began to fall once more. “I never thought we would get here” gasps fell from Hange through stuttering breath. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t think I would see the day” Hange paused silently. “I didn’t think we would see the day”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A pained flash came as Erwin frowned softly because they in deed almost hadn’t seen the day. Both he and Hange had been at deaths door but the people who cared about them most had done whatever possible to keep them alive. It was thanks to Moblit and Levi that he and Hange could be here. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mike would have found the smell refreshing”, Hange murmured looking off at the horizon. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He would have”, Erwin smiled sadly, placing his hand on Hange’s shoulder. “They all would have”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah”, Hange smiled in silence  reminiscing all those lost in the cause. All the lives that had been sacrificed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tranquility fell over the thrashing waves before a shrill broke through. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Startled Erwin frantically looked for the origin of Hange’s scream before a surprised gasp fell. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oi, what’s wrong!”, Levi abruptly called from the safety of the shore away from where everyone else was. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suddenly Hange and Erwin both began smiling, laughing softly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Erwin, Hange! I’m talking to you!” Levi snapped irritability, yet making no move to get any closer. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Seaweed Levi!”, Hange all but yelled displaying the slimy weed that had startled both Erwin and themselves. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t go touching filthy things!” Levi hollered. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just a harmless weed Levi”, Erwin laughed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t know where that shit has been! It probably has fish shit!” Levi huffed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Grimacing Erwin looked to the water that now felt somewhat less sanitary after Levi’s comment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s clean Levi, just look how clear it is!” Hange laughed. “So enough with the shit jokes and come on in!”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like hell! I don’t want to go swimming around fish piss!” Levi looked utterly disgusted. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come on Levi”, Erwin grinned walking forwards, Hange at his heals. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Brow twitching in agitation the raven took a defensive stance like a frightened animal. He looked rather adorable at the very least to Erwin. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oí I said stay back!”, Levi hissed. “Come any closer and I’ll beat the shit out of you!”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stopping at the edge of the ocean Erwin raised a brow questioningly, a devilish hint playing at his baby blues. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But before either one of them could act, Erwin was falling with quick jab Hange had given effectively sending the blond giant forwards. In an instant before Erwin hit the ground Levi was there holding him before he fell. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not two seconds went by before Levi realized the position. Erwin was practically on top of him with Hange at his side. Panicking the temperamental raven attempted to escape but it was for to late. In a second his jacket and cape were shoved off, boots pulled off and he was thrown over Erwins shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Erwin! You conniving bastard let me go!”, Levi shrieked clawing like a scared kitten. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh let him go?” Hange smiled. “I guess you have to let him go Erwin”. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess I do”, Erwin grinned slyly letting his arms go from Levi’s waist and legs where he had been hoisting him over. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slipping Levi instantly wrapped his legs in a tight vice like grip around Erwin’s hips, arms wrapping around Erwin’s torso holding onto dear life. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Levi!” Erwin gasped as the air was practically squeezed out with Levi’s vice like grip. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Get me out of here!”, Levi hissed a shallow blush of red slipping from ear to ear. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Burst of laughter erupted as Hange fell back into the water watching as Levi clung to Erwin. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Levi”, Erwin suddenly whispered softly before wrapping his arms around him securely. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Erwin don’t you-“, before he could finish, Levi found himself falling backwards. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Erwin the sneaky bastard began to fall on back, taking both himself and Levi underwater. With Levi caged in his arms as they fell he had no room to escape, pressed into Erwin’s broad chest. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Blood rushing to his head his eyes flew open, taking in the scenery below. The sun’s blinding light cast an amazing pastel color to the water with florescent corals and tropical fish. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It looked amazing, breathtaking. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Caged in Erwins arms, heart beating against his ears only sent a swelling throb at his own chest. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Smiling softly down at Levi Erwin eventually brought them up as air became a desperate necessity. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Breaking the surface with Levi still entangled in his arms Erwin couldn’t draw his attention from Levi. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His hair was slicked to his head outlining his sharp features as droplets traced the porcelain skin that Erwin had gazed at for years now. The water had made his shirt practically transparent as it embedded to his torso outlining the ripped muscle underneath and the straps across just made it all that more erotic. Suddenly heat was rising as his heart began pounding ever so for Levi. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh those lips, how he would love to just take them against his own. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>‘Would you accept me Levi? Would you ever accept me the way I want you?’</em> Erwin wondered tightening his hold desperate to have Levi as close as possible. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As close as possible, that’s where Levi belonged. That’s what Erwin so desperately wanted, he’d come to this realization years ago when he noticed that his admiration for Levi had stopped simply being admiration. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was desire, desire to have Levi to himself , to hold and wake up besides him. He wanted to grow old with him, to be his light and reason for life. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi everyone, I’m sorry I didn’t post last sunday but to make up for that I’ll be posting chapter 4 &amp; 5 today!</p>
<p>Thanks for reading!</p>
<p>A new chapter is posted every sunday but this coming sunday chapter’s 6 &amp; 7 will be posted as an apology for not posting last sunday! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“No don’t! Guys please don’t leave me here! Please!”.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Bertolt screamed in agonizing breaths that only alluded to the tormenting pain that ran thoroughly through him. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>A titan with blond tuffs holding the severed body before sinking its bloody teeth. Snapping bones and flesh setting every nerve ablaze.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>The agonizing yells playing on a constant loop only to intensify a tenfold. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Tormenting cries of desperation ringing through as if caged in a single room, bouncing off transparent walls until no more than a whisper could be heard. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>The screeching wails falling into slumber as silence fell. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And once more pain mingled. The line that separated dreams and reality blurred as Erwin woke in a cold sweat. A thundering rippled phantom pain shot up across his spine as faint gasps fell. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It felt so real, as if he himself were the one that was torn apart. God it was awful. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cradling his head, flashes of the vivid dream passed, brisk moments which he himself didn’t experience. The blond’s head was throbbing, far too much to allow any sleep.The haunting flashes were too much at the moment. And like any other time stress slipped in Erwin relented to his old habits of overworking himself to keep his mind from conjuring any more frights. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Deciding against trying to sleep at all, Erwin went to his desk. If he wasn’t going to sleep then he may as well be productive. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Walking in the abyss of darkness he found himself suddenly thankful for Levi’s obsessive cleaning habits. Had Levi not been the one to tend to the room he would have surely stumbled over something. Erwin had a habit of leaving books discarded across his room but after years of rooming with Levi the habit had somewhat stopped. Levi often nagged at him to clean his mess but ultimately did the cleaning himself even when Erwin attempted to help. While it could be seen as bothersome Erwin found it rather endearing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was Levi’s way of showing that he cared. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, despite his cold appearance and demeanor Levi was caring, by far one of the most selfless people he’s known. It was just another reason as to why Erwin found himself enthralled by his short tempered captain, because despite all that Levi endured he still cared and loved. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They were opposites as far as he was  conceded. Erwin sent men and women to their deaths and Levi fought effortlessly saving lives. He was the devil and Levi was an angel, an angel he would taint if he persisted with his desires. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But knowing what’s right and wanting to do what’s right we’re two completely different things, because whole heartedly Erwin wanted to desperately believe that he wouldn’t taint Levi. That he wouldn’t taint Levi’s pure wings, that they could be together and there would be no harm. That Levi would accept him. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A creak from the entrance to their room brought his attention to the door frame as Levi slipped in silently closing the door. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Head hung slightly Levi had failed to notice Erwin momentarily, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi looked absolutely exhausted, bags ran under the usually pale skin. Silver eyes were dull and drowsy. Had Levi not been sleeping? Erwin wondered. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was there something that was bothering Levi ? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Levi, you're late again”, Erwin’s gaze cast across the smaller man as he closed the distance between them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instantly coming to his senses Levi turned narrowed eyes towards the blond a chastised gaze set. “ So I’m late what of it? I didn’t realize I had a curfew Erwin”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The snappy tongue was usually restrained around the blond and only snapped when there was something bothering the raven. Of course Erwin was even more unsettled. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t Levi”, Erwin relented. “But you’ve been coming to bed late for the past few days and while normally I wouldn’t nag you over trivial matters, you look like your dead on your feet”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The eyes boring into Levi clearly demanded an explanation, they demanded to know what was wrong. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But those icy blues had an irritating habit of seeing far too much, and that head was to quick and sharp. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who was it this time?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mouth slightly agape Levi watched Erwin amazed at how Erwin could read him so easily. How transparent he was in front of this man. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Your mother? Furlan? Isabel?”, Erwin attempted naming those Levi had found closest. The names leaving a dull ache even after all this time but neither name called was the one haunting his sleep. No person called had blue alluring eyes that beckoned him to heed every command. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No name called had belonged to the blond because it was Erwin that had haunted his nights. The memory of Erwin fading from this world had been embedded into his mind, the way his pale skin had been, the moist lips that had turned dry and the eyes that had begun to fade in light tormented his mind. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Losing Erwin was an implausible idea that sent shivers down his spine. It’s exactly why after the moment they shared above the rooftops Levi had been at Erwins side. Because being away meant that he himself could not protect Erwin; and besides solidarity would let his mind wander to those dark images at the back of his head. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At levi’s consistent silence the worry lines that where constant at Erwins temples suddenly became even more prominent. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Levi?”, Erwin called out going to place a hand on his shoulder. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly reacting Levi turned his head away from Erwins gaze. “It’s nothing”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Nothing’ he had said; but it wasn’t nothing Erwin thought. Erwin had known Levi long enough to pick on certain quirks the raven displayed as nothing was never nothing. Nothing either meant he had remembered something of his past or he was recoiling in guilt over the deaths of his loved ones. But with the bags under his eyes Erwin was going to have to guess the ladder, for apparently their talk upon the rooftops had done nothing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Frowning Erwin turned on his heals, rummaging through their shared closet before draping the uniform jacket and cape on. Levi watched as Erwin dressed unsure of what the blond had running through his head before the warm touch of Erwin’s hands where against his body draping his own cape over Levi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Follow me”, Erwin simply ordered following out the chambers of their room. Reluctantly Levi followed in silence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In complete silence the pair moved away from headquarters making it out into the entrance of the forest that resided by Survey Corps headquarters. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are we doing?” Levi eventually spoke as they had walked in complete silence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Walking”, Erwin answered vaguely holding a lamp to create a visible source of light amidst the dark sky. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No shit-sherlock but why? It’s late”, Levi snapped. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin didn’t choose to refute a response and simply continued to lead Levi into the depths of the forest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oí Erwin, I’m talking to you!”, Levi repeated this time his hand coming to grasp at Erwin’s forearm in an attempt to draw the blonds attention. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin showed no reaction and proceeded to walk with Levi at his heels grumbling his irritation with the blonds odd behavior. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eventually Erwin came to a stop at a clearing at edges of the forest. Narrowed eyes cast a questioning glance at Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin had found this place in his youth and had introduced Levi to the open patch of grasslands among the forest pines years later when Levi joined. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a bit late to stargaze is it not?” Levi asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin simply placed the lamp down before turning into a sitting position with his right knee up, right arm draped over the knee as his left arm supported his weight up, his left hand patting the ground in a beckoning Levi to sit as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Our pants are white if you haven’t noticed”, Levi commented but took a seat besides Erwin nonetheless. Knees up near his chest with his arms draping across them. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s beautiful out tonight” Erwin murmured head tilted upwards. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi only hummed in acknowledgment as he began to somewhat relax in Erwins company. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stars are so small yet intriguing, they’re bright, they shine bright like a slimmer ray of flames”, Erwin expressed. “They remind me of you a lot”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tilted his head down to Levi, “You’re amazing Levi, exceptionally skilled; smaller then most but yet you shine brighter than just a about anyone”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wide eyed a light blush began to dust Levi’s cheeks. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re exceptional, humanity’s strongest soldier; I doubt there will ever be anyone to ever come close to what you can accomplish”, Erwin boasted mentally tracing over Levi’s flushed features</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘No one will ever come close because no one will ever compare to you Levi, in my heart everyone pales in comparison’ Erwin thought as the urge to press his lips against Levi became ever so abundant. The urge to kiss the man before him was ever so strong to succumb to his deep desires; to selfishly take what he’s longed for years. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>How wonderful would their lips feel together; to share intimacy as such with Levi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>How he wishes he could but he couldn’t, he shouldn’t, not for now at least. This is about Levi, Erwin reminded himself, he had dragged Levi out here because he was concerned not because he had an ulterior motive to act upon his desires. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But as strong as you are you are you are not invincible Levi”, the blond reminded. “There are times where you won’t be able win some fights and no one will fault you for it”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Guilt is natural, it's what makes us human but don’t let it consume you because if anyone is guilty it’s me Levi, not you”, Erwin said in shallow breaths. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re wrong”, Levi murmured, head cast away from Erwins direct gaze. “Everything you’ve done is for the betterment of humanity, the lives you’ve sacrificed where to ensure that future generations, that kids can live without the constant fear of Titans looming over”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chest pounding and as his eyes where glazed Levi kept his head down refusing to meet erwin’s gaze. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Breathless Erwin traced his thumb along Levi’s chin to turn his face towards himself. “And you’ve been at my side all through it Levi, you’ve been fighting for that as well; you are going to be the reason children won’t live in fear”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Everyone you’ve lost will be thankful when that day comes because they’ll know that their sacrifice was worth it, so fight for them Levi”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His throat clenched like a vice as grey eyes threatened to flow like a burst dam. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would you have been thankful?”, the hoarse question came. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And instantly Erwin had realized what was wrong. Levi wasn’t mourning the death of his past loved ones it was he who was causing Levi distress. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Had you chosen Armin that day, yes I would have have”, Erwin sighed sadly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you chose to save me and I am equally as thankful for that because I can keep fighting alongside you to liberate humanity”. A soft firm hand came to rest on Levi’s back. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The hand radiated of warmth and comfort from the one man Levi trusted whole heartedly. The man who’s near death experience haunted him for days on end. But his touch was always comforting; and so Levi went lax against the touch leaning so he was against Erwins chest, hearing the heart thump. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin was alive and he had to hold onto that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t nearly die again... please”, Levi pleaded softly as the soothing rhythm of his heart lolled him to relax in Erwins presence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll try not to”, he promised moving his arm to embrace Levi, holding him comfortably to his chest. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A relived breath fell. “Thank you”, his voice meek and just barely auditable. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A streak of light crossed the dark sky as Levi’s frame slumped against Erwin’s chest. The light weight on Erwins chest was welcoming as he soared at the fond moment. Holding Levi this close as if he could protect him for once. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>As if he could protect Levi from all the pain that would await. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve caused, if there’s anyone I could spare from pain it’s you Levi; you’re special to me”, Erwin murmured softly when he had been sure that Levi had fallen asleep. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was sometime in the early morning, perhaps four or five am when Erwin had returned Levi to their room. He had let Levi rest against his chest for about two hours refusing to move in fear of waking him after he’d managed to fall sleep. But with two hours unconscious Erwin had lifted him into his arms and made the trek back to their quarters. It was cold out and didn’t want to risk Levi falling ill.</p><p>Having undressed his exhausted captain, leaving him only in his briefs out of the restraining belts, Erwin gently placed him in their bed upon his side.</p><p>At first Levi had slept in a chair most nights but after a few months something changed in their relationship and Levi allowed himself to sleep on the bed, thus leading to his subtle claim over the left side of the bed facing the wall. And so they had their sides, Levi’s was the left and Erwins the right.</p><p>Tucked into bed sleeping blissfully for now, the image made Erwins chest pound in sheer love and adoration.</p><p>Erwin laid with Levi for a while resting for only about an hour when the vivid image of Bertolt joisted him.</p><p>Carefully detangling himself from the blankets without waking Levi, Erwin readied himself once more before slipping out of their room.</p><p>These persistent flashes that had persisted had Erwin at unease but perhaps it would provide them with valuable information. He didn’t know what they were but it certainly wasn’t going to help anyone if he just kept them to himself and while normally he would have gone to Levi he couldn’t imagine burdening him further.</p><p>Once upon a time Miche would have been his first choice but that changed upon Levi’s arrival and with Miche gone there was Hange; someone Erwin did in fact trust. They’d been named his successor after all.</p><p> </p><p>“Hange?”, Erwin called knocking softly. As early as it was Erwin had no doubt that Hange would be up.</p><p>After Moblit’s death Hange had been exhausting themselves until they crashed in the following days having random spells of forced sleep through the day but rarely in the morning and night. Erwin suspected it was because of how Moblit had held attentive care of Hange around the morning and night where he would ensure they slept and woke up on time.</p><p>And surely enough Hange had been awake, “Erwin?”</p><p>“Good morning Hange”, Erwin greeted having a slight somber expression which of course didn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>“Either we lost funds or someone died”, Hange chided closing the door after Erwin.</p><p>“Neither actually”, Erwin sighed taking a seat in one of the chairs not failing to notice the mess that had become Hange’s sleeping quarters.</p><p>“Please indulge me then”, Hange lolled out taking a seat opposite of Erwin.</p><p>“I’ve been having flashes ? if you can call them that; flashes of Bertolt”, Erwin explained. “ Tonight was the worst of it”.</p><p>“Dreams?”, Hange murmured brows furrowing.</p><p>“Are they affecting you in any way? Did you grow titan limbs? Any knew titan abilities? Are your titan abilities lacking? Are you well? Any symptoms? feelings? What memories?”, Hange immediately began spouting questions nonstop bombarding Erwin.</p><p>“Breath Hange”, Erwin reminded still finding Hange’s intrigue in titans rather amusing after all this time.</p><p>“As for symptoms I’m not feeling much different than normal”, Erwin provided. “But I did feel pain; It was a dream of how Bertolt had been eaten and I felt as if I was the one being eaten; it was excruciating”.</p><p>“Their isn’t a consistency between them, they’re just random flashes here and there mainly at night”.</p><p>Hange nodded as Erwin explained the peculiar dreams he’d been experiencing. Although it was plausible they weren’t dreams at all but flashes or memories.</p><p>Humming Hange tapped their fingertips across the wooden desk. “ The founder has the power to erase all memories”, they suddenly brought up.</p><p>“It’s not a far fetch to say they could all be tied together? Past users obviously share some connection based on what Lord Reiss told Eren and Historia”, Hange explained. “So say these flashes, or memories are somehow connected, like a tree there is one trunk with many branches but ultimately with one origin;</p><p>“So it’s plausible that these memories could be trying to explain something to you Erwin?”.</p><p>“It’s not completely out of the realm in question it’s actually a very reasonable theory”, Erwin contemplated.</p><p>“Yes but we don’t have much on the subject”, Hange sighed.</p><p>“That we do not”, Erwin perplexed.</p><p>They truly didn’t have much information having had only Eren as the sole lab rat and means of information on titans. So far all they knew was that if a normal titan were to eat a shifter then they would turn themselves into a shifter, that the king's curse prevented retaliation against outside forces, and that titan shifters where only granted a number of years to live.</p><p>The last somber fact was something completely ignored, it was something that hadn’t been touched by either Erwin or themselves. Most didn’t know of the last fact, surprisingly Erwin had even chosen to not inform Levi about it.</p><p>“And I suppose you want me to keep this conversation between you and I? Especially away from Levi?”, Hange questioned.</p><p>“Please”, Erwin requested.</p><p>“I’ll do as you wish Erwin”, Hange relented. “But he will find out eventually, and this whole protective act ... Erwin Levi is strong hence his title as humanity’s strongest”.</p><p>“I know but”, Erwin paused momentarily as a shameful layer fell across his features. “I’ve put him through so much already, and currently he’s not well this will only add to his stress”.</p><p>“If I can spare him from heartache for just a little longer I will”, He swore the cold temperament of the usually calm blues set a tone that was unchallengeable.</p><p>“I know, I know”, Hange addressed, raising her hands in mock defeat.</p><p>“I won’t breath a word to him for now”, Hange relented. “because we know how important Levi is to you”.</p><p>The suggestive hint that Hange suggested had been obvious but Erwin chose not to answer. Only Miche had known of his secret harbored desire and he had died with that secret. Miche was not one for gossip so Erwin doubted he’d uttered a word to Hange so they were most likely going off their observations. Hange was very observant, a little too observant or perhaps his desire for Levi had become all that more obvious with the passing days.</p><p> </p><p>Levi woke several hours later some time in the early afternoon. What had astounded Levi had been how long and well he’d actually slept. There hadn’t been a horrid image of Erwin at the verge of death; no there had just been sleep.</p><p>Recalling the previous night Levi swung his legs over the bedside before it dawned on him. He was in no more than his boxer briefs.</p><p>Erwin must have been the one to carry him back and undress him after he so embarrassingly fell asleep against Erwin. So Erwin was the obvious reason as to why he was only on his boxer briefs.</p><p>Heat found itself crawling up his skin. They both sometimes undressed while in the same room but backs were always turned and it rarely was an ongoing experience. The notion that Erwins hands had been roaming his body to unclasp the unbearably tight belts left heat to pool within.</p><p>His hands began to trace the places the belts had been, where Erwins hands had been last night no doubt.</p><p>‘He was just being all noble and crap’, Levi mentally berated himself rather irritated as to why such thoughts caused his skin to crawl and heat up deliciously.</p><p>But Levi wasn’t stupid he had a faint idea as to why his body was acting up. He wasn’t blind, Erwin in deed was handsome, with a tall build and sharp masculine definition in deep contrast to his own frame. So to feel some attraction was normal right? He was a guy after all.</p><p>Even so he shouldn’t be thinking of Erwin in such a way. Sexually inexperienced as he was Levi knew that homosexuality wasn’t exactly something that was encouraged, it wasn’t something that would get you hung but it was definitely not encouraged. Besides Erwin would most likely be uncomfortable that Levi was thinking of him in such a way.</p><p>‘It’ll go away i’m just frustrated is all’, Levi thought in an attempt to push the notion that he felt some kind of attraction to Erwin in the back of his head.</p><p>Of course it was to no avail as his body still seemed to crawl, tingling all over. Heat pooled heavy in his groin. The mass tenting his briefs only proved as irrefutable evidence that he held some kind of attraction to Erwin though he would continue to deny it.</p><p>Blushed cheeks, his fingers grazed the clothed tent in his briefs. He often left many morning erections alone choosing to ignore them until they went down but to do so he often had to press down until it eventually went down, that or an ice cold shower.</p><p>Then to Levi’s horror the door creaked open as Erwin stepped in.</p><p>“Oh Levi I’m glad to”, his sentence was cut short once he registered the ravens position.</p><p>A hearty wood between his legs,a hand over the ridge of the tent and flushed cheeks. Erwin momentarily froze eyes drawn to the rigid abs and tent but instantly Erwin reacted.</p><p>“Oh!”heat began to crawl up Erwins neck. “Levi, I um!”, his words leaving in stutters as he hastily turned his line of sight away.</p><p>“I’ll be- later!”, Erwin rasped out awkwardly making it out of the room.</p><p>In an instant the hard wood between his legs deflated as Levi looked at the swung door white faced, utterly mortified.</p><p>Caught in his briefs looking as if he were up to promentious activities.</p><p>What a great way to start this fine afternoon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you are all the reads and kudos it really means a lot to me! </p><p>Chapter 8 will be out this Sunday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Levi had been touching himself, the phrase ran in a never ending loop inside Erwins head. </p><p> </p><p>The vivid image of Levi ran rampant through his mind across how unyieldingly aroused he began to feel. It had been the first time either was caught doing things. </p><p> </p><p>Because yes despite sharing a room for years awkward situations as such had never occurred other than morning erections both were subject to. Levi himself would just leave them be or shower in order to calm down. But never had either party caught themselves engaging in such acts. Erwin occasionally went there but never had an accidental walk in happened. </p><p> </p><p>But by the walls, seeing Levi like that had him riled up. It was just like it had been when he’d came to terms over his desire. </p><p> </p><p>On expeditions he would at times turn ridged watching Levi fly through the air. Levi at the time would be mid air in a blaze. Carried by the winds in arousing motions that just coiled at the pit of Erwins stomach. Managing some decent control over his arousal had been absolutely gruesome at times. </p><p> </p><p>Like an undignified hormone raging teenager Erwin recalled. Again he was acting like a hormonal teenager. Tenting wood at the mear sight of Levi. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Meek as mouse absolutely frozen, the red tint ran from cheek to cheek. Frozen in utter embarrassment, Levi remained in place even after Erwin had fled, even after Erwin had walked in. </p><p> </p><p>But that look. Walking in and instead of seeing disgust there had been something in those  oh so familiar eyes. The intensity had been almost suffocating but the way it had made him feel; the way it had set his body ablaze. </p><p> </p><p>But then again it was always like that with Erwin. The comforting air he brought was always so welcoming, like a moth drawn to a flame. So warm drawing closer and closer when he shouldn’t because that flame grew to burn until he felt himself set aflame. </p><p> </p><p>But maybe it was worth the pain. Maybe he liked the burn of the flame. Just maybe. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I’ve had visions dreams yes, they’re memories of the past users, Rod Reiss explained that”, Eren sighed seated before the commander. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes that’s been covered, memories and visions of past users but there is something more here, something beyond”. </p><p> </p><p>Eyes cast away risen so his back was facing eren, “Our enemies lie beyond that sea, and yet again we are in the dark”. </p><p> </p><p>“One step forward and thousand more to go”. </p><p> </p><p>The pessimistic tone that resigned felt dull and unyielding. </p><p> </p><p>“But if we take out our enemies, if I could... would we finally be free? Would we finally have our freedom?, Eren asked albeit more to himself rather than Erwin himself. </p><p> </p><p>The once vibrate and resilient child was no more, at the very least it wasn’t the same person who stood before Erwin anymore. No instead someone far more somber stood before him. </p><p> </p><p>“Who do you think the real enemy is Eren?”. </p><p> </p><p>The same question but yet so different. And it was different very different; because as of now they had a vague idea as to who was the enemy. It was no longer titans against humans but rather humans against humans. </p><p> </p><p>And just as before Eren’s eyes widened but this time around it had not been because he was bewildered by the question; No this time around it was because after all this time Eren still didn’t have an exact answer. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t have an exact answer because this was not how things were supposed to go. Erwin was not the one that was supposed to be alive. Armin was. </p><p> </p><p>Things were not supposed to play out like this. By changing one thing everything changed. </p><p> </p><p>“You still resent me”, Erwin noted easily picking up on the devious glint in Eren’s eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Silent Eren neither denied nor confirmed the accusation. </p><p> </p><p>“Levi once resented me you know”, Erwin digressed, turning his back to Eren. “Long ago when we’d ventured on our first expedition together, he had resented me”. </p><p> </p><p>“Levi is a mystery so I’m sure you’ve heard countless rumors about how he joined the scouts”, Erwin recalled the ongoing rumors that would constantly be wound up about Levi. </p><p> </p><p>“But truth be told; I dragged Levi into the scouts, blackmailed him actually”, Erwin explained recalling the past. “Levi was initially out to kill me, he and his two comrades from the underground”. </p><p> </p><p>“But then our first expedition came when we all truly saw that Levi could fly”, the amazement and praise never seized to stop when talking about Levi. It had been like that from the start and was still like that. </p><p> </p><p>“His friends died on that very expedition”, Erwin said not indulging in too many details but enough to get his point across. “Levi had his blade to my throat when I found him besides the disintegrating bodies of the titans responsible for his friends deaths. He could have killed me in an instant and fled but he didn’t”. </p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t and I’ll never know exactly why but know this”, Suddenly Erwin turned facing Eren. “If you live on vengeance you’ll never get anywhere, you’ll never be able to protect those closest to you because you’ll be blinded by rage! Blinded by your own stupidity!”. </p><p> </p><p>“Eren will you live on for mere vengeance for your own wishes? Will you live for your personal vendetta even if it is not in humanity’s best interest?”.</p><p> </p><p>“Will Armin's death have been a hindrance ? Will all our comparases deaths be for nothing! For your mother for your pledge will you renounce it all merely over what you believe will make you feel better ?!”. </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly Erwin pulled out a blade. “If so, kill me right here and now, I have no interest in a game of cat and mouse, but do so without any regrets Eren”.</p><p> </p><p>A blade was thrust into Eren’s palm as he hesitantly held it pointing at Erwin who stood with eyes that bore into his soul. </p><p> </p><p>“Kill me Eren, if that is what your heart longs for, do it”, Erwin tempted. “And don’t feel guilty, god knows that if anyone deserves death it’s me”. </p><p> </p><p>Silence fell as the eyes of a monster of the devil himself cast on Eren. Resolve that would not weivor behind those eyes that were painted an angelic blue the color of purity when in reality they held the devil's incarnation.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t”, and the blade fell with clink that echoed through the room. </p><p> </p><p>“I just want to free everyone, I don’t want to kill anymore”, Eren confessed a sliver of the boy that he used to be broke through. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want anymore blood on my hands!”, Eren cried out. </p><p> </p><p>A broad palm soon found itself on Eren’s shoulders. “Neither do I Eren but it’s inevitable, eventually even our lives will be sacrificed”. </p><p> </p><p>“But before that day I want to liberate humanity, I want everyone to live happy lives even if I’m living on borrowed time”. </p><p> </p><p>The curse of ymir, granting them only 13 years to live. Either you ended roaming the world a mindless titan for centuries or you were a titan shifter granted only 13 years to live.</p><p> </p><p> And suddenly realization finally hit.</p><p> </p><p>Eren had long come to terms with his death, Erwin having done so the day he’d joined the scouts but he had somehow narrowly escaped, brought back as a titan. And yet somehow he was still facing the same unfortunate future. It seemed that no matter what he chose Erwin would always be deaths door. </p><p> </p><p>Now looking back to when they’d first seen the sea; it all seemed so far. Levi would never be his. Whether Levi reciprocated his feelings or not did not matter anymore. </p><p> </p><p>Long ago Erwin swore to never take a lover because he didn’t want to leave them widowed and with Levi he had been willing to break that promise. He had been tempted but that was selfish of him, to cause levi such pain and anguish. To cherish Levi and hold him as he wished when in the end he would leave him. </p><p> </p><p>It was a selfish desire and this time around he would do the honorable thing. Levi would not burden such a loss not after everything he has lost and all he has done for Erwin. </p><p> </p><p>You were my wings Levi and now I’ll be your shield. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone! Firstly I just wanted to apologize for the last few chapters! I have exams these coming weeks from may 10 - may 23. I will continue to post and exams won’t interfere (hopefully). These past two weeks I had just fallen behind in my classes so I was just trying to catch up. </p><p>But apologies again! Also thank you for all the reads and kudos! Chapter 9 will be up in the next hour I am just proof reading it! </p><p>Also I am setting up and Instagram Twitter, and Tik ToK where I will be posting artwork for this fanfiction if you all wish to support my accounts there! They should be up by this coming Saturday. </p><p>Thank you all, much love from me for all the reads! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Just knock and walk in’, Levi chanted over and over in his head. Turning on his heals to leave before staying put conflicted on weather he should flee or enter. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi had barged into Erwin's office countless times so it shouldn’t be any different this time. So what if Erwin had seen his junk, it didn’t matter. He’d seen other guys junk; hell he’d seen mikes junk when he had initially joined the scouts and was first forced to shower in those repulsing communal bathrooms. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin surely wouldn’t make a fuss about it, he better not. Levi was a man with male genitals so dam it all, he was going to walk in that office as he normally would. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silently without bothering to knock Levi slipped into the office, Erwin no doubtably was expecting him. He had spent some time outside his door contemplating on entering or not but to Levi’s surprise Erwin didn’t even acknowledge Levi’s entering. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somewhat disturbed Levi let his gaze linger on Erwin momentarily. Usually the blond would have questioned Levi about the sudden attention and yet Erwin remained attentive to his paper work. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Awkwardly Levi sat on the small sofa facing the bookshelves across where Erwin sat at his desk. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Moments passed with Levi and Erwin sitting in complete silence. It was an awkward silence contrary to the welcoming silence that came when the pair had their bursts of silence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oi Erwin”, Levi abruptly called an irate tick of his brow twitching.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes Levi?”, Erwin hummed softly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s up with you?”, Levi asked accusingly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A light tremor ran through Erwin under that steel gaze but nonetheless held his composure, “Whatever do you mean Levi?”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Irate Levi only moved off the couch at Erwins clear avoidance, “You know exactly what I mean, you’re being all weird and shit”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My apologize Levi”, Erwin simply responded momentarily drawing his gaze to Levi before returning to his work. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Something was definitely up and Erwins bland behavior only spoke volumes of it. Though what irritated Levi the most was the fact that Erwin was making such a big deal over what he’d seen earlier. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve got a dick”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwins attention was abruptly drawn up to Levi at the blatant statement. The whole ordeal had been long been forgotten after Erwins conversation with Eren. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I, yes”, the slight stammer broke through Erwins usual composure. “I’m aware”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No shit Erwin, I’m a man and I’ve got a dick”, Levi practically growled as he braced himself against Erwins desk. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You saw my junk just get over it, making a fuss over something like that”, Levi huffed. “You’ve probably seen countless of other dicks too”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Levi, I had completely forgotten about that”, Erwin admitted sheepishly. “I seriously do not care what it is you chose to do in your privacy”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Instantly a slight blush crept upon Levi’s pale cheeks. Erwin had forgotten about it all and Levi oh so stupidly brought it up again while it could have been ignored but worst of all Erwin belived that Levi had been masterbating. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stumbling over his words with crimson flushing his cheeks Levi made quick to try an correct the assumption. “Oí, don’t go assuming shity things! I wasn’t doing any nasty nasty shit”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If that was what you were thinking that is.. cause I wasn’t Erwin”, Levi sputtered. “Shity minded Eyebrows”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So stop being weird”, Levi demanded. “And forget I even brought this conversation up”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course Levi”, Erwin smiled softly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But don’t feel bashful for bringing that up Levi, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable”, Erwin assured Levi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Actually I’m glad you brought it up Levi”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sudden tone and direction of conversation was setting an uneasy feeling at the pit of Levi’s stomach. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you wanted to, I wouldn’t mind you moving back into your own sleeping quarters Levi”, Erwin explained though the sudden heartache clenching at his chest at the thought of no longer sharing the room with Levi. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“With the basement retrieval at shiganshina, after our results”, Erwin said sullenly in reference to the massacre of the scout regiment that had played out in the wake of shiganshina. “Space is no longer an issue really”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What I’m getting at Levi is that if you wish to move out you should”, the direction in which the conversation was going was truly unpleasant. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There isn’t anything keeping you from moving into your own room Levi”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It really isn’t proper to have high ranking soldiers sharing a room, I believe we have outgrown that little arrangement Levi”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi never believed that words could hurt, he never believed in such silly antics but somehow the words Erwin was spewing hurt worse than any other physical wound he’d ever endured. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, there is nothing Erwin”, the word nothing burning through every fiber in his body because apparently there was nothing, no bond between he and Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll be out within a few hours Erwin”, came Levi’s nonchalant voice. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And before Erwin could offer his assistance in helping him clear out and settle into his new room, Levi had slipped from the room.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Quietly stifling the flames in his heart Erwin forced his gaze down to his previous work but Levi’s departure shackled his mind. He may have suggested or even demanded for Levi to have his own room once again but that did not mean that was what Erwin wanted. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t mean that Erwin wouldn’t miss Levi. That he wouldn’t miss waking in the middle of the night to comfort Levi through the rare nightmare here and there. That he wouldn’t miss late night meals shared in their room, that he would miss the way Levi would often kick in his sleep. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin would miss it all, he would long for all that he would be deprived of, from seeing Levi’s adorable bed head to his rare spouting tantrums.</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thunder broke through that evening with slamming crates and shuffled clothing moved. Doors were flung open as the remaining of the regiment were put under direct order to do a thorough cleaning. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What was left of the scouting legion and recently added recruits had been beckoned to cleaning away from main officer quarters; ways from their, no Erwin’s room and Levi’s new room. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>A dull jab at Levi's chest came when he’d begun to notice the collection of items he’d collected over the years. Long ago he entered the corps with just the clothes on his back and a few blades from the underground as his only possessions. Now he had various items, many gifts persaay. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Disorments of gifts from the select few he had been very close with. Diffrent formal blouses and books from petra. Cigar cutters and liquor he’d refused to touch from Oulo after his passing. Cleaning equipment and tea he’d collected from Eld and Gunther. High end blades and card games like poker from Miche. Tea and weird creations from Hange that he kept despite swearing to have thrown them out. And from Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Notes, letters, his favorite assortments of tea, books, coats, shirts, drawings of them or with mutual friends, pleasant fragrances and tea sets. All were gifted from erwin and all were some of his most treasured items. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But at the moment he felt like shattering those damed collections of expensive china Erwin gifted. He felt like ripping apart those expensive suits; but he could do such a thing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No instead with great care Levi moved his precious items into the now occupying room. Setting them down neatly adorning the room. Everything was in place. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His new bed was neatly made with no crease in sight. Framed drawings of himself and others adorned the walls and his clothing filled the space that was his closet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everything that made up Levi’s home in a place so unfamiliar so metaphorically empty that Levi might as well have just moved into an empty room. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin dreaded nightfall that day. And it really came to no surprise when Erwin found himself longing for his counterpart. Levi’s presence at night had been something that had been woven into his routine and now was suddenly missing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So that night Erwin lay in bed stiff as ever, not daring to move from his side of the bed leaving Levi’s side untouched. If he were to keep this up within the following months the mattress would wear unevenly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwins body grew cold that night as the familiar warmth had gone missing. The soothing breathing pattern was no longer there to soothe Erwin to sleep. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There really was to be no sleep made that night, none whatsoever as Erwin stared at the spotless ceiling. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A grim laugh came at the thought. Spotless. Within days or weeks his room would become a mess without Levi there to clean it. Levi was always cleaning keeping their place in order. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi was always cleaning even at nightfall yes that was true and Erwins mental mind wanderings were only confirmed at the brief sound of water splashing across the hall. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Levi was cleaning tonight and to no surprise. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was on all fours scrubbing at the floor making the place impeccable. Levi was cleaning but not because the room was dirty. No it was because Levi couldn’t sleep and had hoped cleaning the room again would give it a relevance of the warmth that the room he and Erwin had once shared but it was to no avail for no matter how hard he was scrubbing the room felt aloof. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The room felt off because Levi couldn’t sleep calmly on the bed. Levi had never been able to do so. He slept on a chair because in the underground if you were to lay down and rest you would be killed. So Levi always slept in a chair. Things didn’t change when he joined the survey corps and they didn’t when he initially started bunking with Erwin hence why their room had only occupied one bed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But upon one night a horrid nightmare came, five months short after Furlan and Isabel’s death. Erwin made him tea that night and comforted him. Erwin had massagged his back gently calming him and before Levi had knew it he’d fallen asleep in his lap. Levi had woken that morning lying on a bed next to Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>From then on Levi would wait for Erwin to fall into slumber before quietly sneaking into bed with Erwin and eventually there was no need for sneaking around. Eventually the unspoken rule was made that Erwin and Levi would share a bed every night. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s easier to protect yourself when sitting up”, Levi murmured quietly to no one as he settled in the single chair within his bedroom. Curling himself perched on the chair as his lids fell and he drifted asleep once again shielded. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That night neither Erwin nor Levi slept comfortably. Both lay in unfamiliar rooms. Like puzzle pieces that were missing their other half. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone! Thank you all for all the support, for all the reads, kudos, and comments! Much love from me! &lt;3 </p>
<p>And again I apologize for not having posted for the past 2 weeks, I am very sorry about that! Chapter 9 is now up thankful and I will be working on chapter 10 to hopefully have it up by Wednesday as an apology for not having posted! </p>
<p>Again I will be making a Twitter, Instagram, and Tik Tok to post art and updates for this fanfiction. The accounts will be up by Sunday most definitely. </p>
<p>Thank you all, see you all on Wednesday &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Erwin I know you’re a titan and all, and this may come to you as a surprise but you are still human and humans need sleep”, Hange remarked. <br/><br/></p>
<p>It had been several days since Levi’s departure from their room, it had been several rather uncomfortable days. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Erwin had been restless all through every night, twisting and turning in the mattress. Levi’s side was yet to remain touched and the actual presentation of his sleeping quarters was an absolute mess. Books and documents were littered here and there, teacups were half hazardously laid about. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, is it because you’re having more dreams?!”, Hange suddenly asked, recalling the previous conversation they’d had. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, no it’s not that Hange”, Erwin assured them before they began a spouting rant. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If it’s the workload I can help you out Erwin, you have appointed me as your successor after all”, Hange said in support genuinely concerned. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you Hange but I believe it’s just stress, don’t worry too much about it”, Erwin offered. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just don’t go killing yourself again Erwin, we almost lost you once”, Hange uttered softly, taking a tone that contrasted their rather rambunctious persona. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won’t, I swear to you that I won’t”, he assured them the weighing guilt resurfacing at the pained grimace across Hange’s facial expression. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pain both Hange and Levi had endured that day was something he never wanted to experience himself. Selfish as it may be it was easier to die before those you loved. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you should really rest Erwin,'' Hange advised, moving to stand from their seat. “I’ll take care of your afternoon’s work for you”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you Hange”, Erwin smiled softly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course Erwin, just go up and rest. I'll send Levi with some tea for you”, they remarked, turning to leave when they heard a deep inhale come from the commander. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Questioningly Hange turned to set their gaze on the blond watching curiously as a mixture of shame and unease settled on the commander's face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is there a problem with that Erwin?”, they asked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What no, of course not Hange. That’s perfectly fine”, Erwin conceded. “But I would rather not pester Levi with servant tasks”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But is that not what we all are? Servants and boot lickers”, Came Levi’s propitious voice. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sure you’ve done your fair share of boot licking at the capitol Smith”, Levi chastened bitterly refraining from addressing Erwin by his first name. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>An awkward silence fell amidst the trio. The silence easily piqued Hange’s undivided attention. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll be in my office should my presence be required”, Erwin defensively uttered, allowing his gaze to fall heavy on his Captain. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The shear tension could be cut with a knife as Erwin and Levi practically stood ready to cut at one another's throat. Erwin dismissively slipped out of the room nonchalantly, having ignored Hange’s offer. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Erwin you’re supposed to be taking a break!”, Hange called after Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Save your breath Hange”, Levi snapped unusually refraining from insulting them. “Let Erwin brew, that uptight bastard”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay what’s going on between the two of you?”, They demanded steering Levi’s frame to stop. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>While Levi was known for his rather unpleasant tongue, he rarely cast that sharp tongue at Erwin. Hange themselves was often saved from the captain's crude language, even when he addressed them as four eyes which was truly just a term of endearment at this point. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well?!”, Hange pestered rather aggressively at Levi’s remaining silence. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s nothing you should concern yourself with”, Levi muttered dismissively before slipping away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hange was hot on their heels of course, not hesitating to follow them towards the sleeping quarters. But before they could further pester their short tempered friend the door was slammed in their face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Albeit before they could pound on the door it dawned on them, the actual location of the room. This wasn’t the commander's room. This room was across the hall. Levi went into another room that wasn’t his own which was ood. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Usually Hange would refrain from barging into their sleeping quarters, barging into their offices was one thing but sleeping quarters were different, they held a sense of privacy that should not be disturbed. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> Erwins office was across the headquarters and judging by the crude mood he’d been in he would be cooped up in his office for some time. Concern woven curiosity drove them across abruptly pushing the door to Erwin and Levi’s room open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Looking around the room a weary feeling filled the section commander upon realization. The room was unusually messy with clothes littered across the floor, documents, letters, and books alike. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Levi had obviously not been sleeping in the room for at least a few days, weeks maybe. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The room was truly depressing with bare shelves that were once adorned with drawings of mutual friends and the familiar air was gone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where are you when I need you Miche”, they murmured softly the strain within the trio making Hange recall the large blond who’d also been a part of their close knit family. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re fighting again Mike, it seems serious this time around”, they mumbled to no one in particular. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wearily they took to bringing order to the room, “Levi would be pissed if he saw the state of this room”. </p>
<p>
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  <br/>
</p>
<p>Once upon a time Hange had once resembled Eren. They hated titans, the foul creatures could rot in hell. Having lost many to the titan scourge nothing but utter range had resided but upon one expedition they’d taken to kicking a severed head. It had been weightless, it weighed near to nothing like a pile of feathers. Something changed that day. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>From that day on they would continue to lose many to the titan scourge but this time around anger and loathing would no longer be present instead replaced by fascinating curiosity. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the losses still hurt, they especially hurt when they were someone close. Nanaba hurt and Miche had just been devastating. But Moblit had been a pain they’d yet to experience something unholy and treacherous. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Out of the six only three remained Hange thought mournfully. They were alive and yet Erwin and Levi were bickering. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later that evening Hange found themselves pushing through the heavy door that Erwin hid behind.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hange”, Erwin acknowledged upon the sudden entering. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was thinking”, they hummed plopping down in the chair facing Erwin. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hange if it’s funds for experiments I have to decline, our first priority is the restructure of the corps”, Erwin said, still rather entertained. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ha! no but I will ask about that soon so your wallet better be able to fund my experiments Erwin”, they retorted. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Allowing a short nod Erwin continued rather engrossed with paper work. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was just thinking of having Levi bunk with me, he’d be a great roommate minus all the nagging”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At that Erwins iron concentration snapped as his head shot up. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Now that I have your undivided attention mind explaining why Levi is across the hall now?”, Hange asked watching Erwin as a scolding mother would. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh the irony, never would Hange have thought that they would be lecturing Erwin. He was the one always scolding or lecturing, not vice versa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Parting his mouth to speak, Erwin only managed one syllable before clasping his mouth shut. He cared deeply for Hange, he truly did but truth be told he was equally as lost. He didn’t know what exactly he was doing casting Levi away. All that he knew was that he would die soon, in the coming years, as was the curse of all shifters so it was useless to tempt his urges and to subject Levi to the possibility of a relationship, a relationship that would end with Erwin dead. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Erwin could form a proper response Hange spoke up having gone tired with Erwins silence. Either way Hange would not press the matter for now if Erwin was truly set on not answering honestly. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Levi places trust in you like no one else”, Hange stated as a plain matter of fact. “ Had I become the commander, had you died I don’t believe he would have the same devotion towards me. Levi and I work well together but you two are just better in every way, you know what the other is thinking without having to say anything”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t tear at that kind of bond Erwin, for all of our sakes”. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silently Erwin nodded his acknowledgement not daring to speak for he didn’t believe that his voice would not shatter. The cards he’d been delt with were cruel. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>To live, to fulfill his duty to his father and yet to be burdened by life. To be burdened by Levi’s choice. Dead he would have been content watching over Levi, watching as Levi fulfilled Erwins dream. He would have been happy when Levi finally came to smile when he could finally live in peace, but deep down in the twisted back of his head Erwin knew he would still resent that outcome as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> He would resent that outcome as well because he was selfish, he would never truly be happy in a world where Levi wasn’t at his side. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone! </p>
<p>I first want to say that I’m sorry I hadn’t posted on Wednesday. I just finished a piece of artwork for chapter 1 which will be posted on  my Instagram. </p>
<p>Instagram is @ simpindoodles.jack<br/>Twitter is @ DoodlingJack<br/>Tik Tok is @ aotsimping_jack</p>
<p>All updates for A Different Path will be posted on Twitter and Instagram! </p>
<p>Love you all and thank you for all the Kudos and reads.<br/>(Also Chapter 11 will be up in a few minutes)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Splat. Thud. Thump. Splat. Thud. Thump.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence was tormented by the suffocating loop of blood dripping. The rich red beads trickled down in an orderly fashion as they clashed against the wooden rail border of the window sills. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Out of the open seam blood ran steadily, the pulsing vein supplying the crimson stream thumped, its pulse in sync with the heavy heartbeat resided within the room that echoed through the hallowed out walls. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And like a never ending loop the play began. Blood slipped from the ridges of exposed flesh, trickling down the porcelain skin before splattering, and again it repeated. But then it was as if someone hit pause. The wound slowed its temperament before it was no more than an extinguished flame put to rest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So filthy”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Any trace of blood was quickly swept away as if it had never touched the wooden surface. It was dealt with easily. It was easy, so in contrast to what reality was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Self infliction was frowned upon but it helped him get the edge off. Now Levi wasn’t suicidal, no he’d moved past that point long ago, long, long, ago. Before he’d even met Erwin, this had been a little defect of his. It helped, it just helped him relieve the pressure, it helped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cutting eased the pain because it was physical, something that could be fixed that could be cleaned that Levi could have control over. He had control over how deep he went, how much blood he lost, here he was in control. It brought a sense of security. There wasn’t anything wrong with cutting, it was healthy even, he’d convinced himself. It was healthy and it helped so long as he didn’t actually go on and kill himself. And he needn’t worry about actually killing himself. He’d survived when he was younger, he’d survived ending his life when he was kid because for some reason he’d convinced himself that life was worth holding onto. Levi had fought tooth and nail through all that was thrust at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If a few drops were the price for a little piece of mind then to hell with it. A little blood wouldn’t kill him the, fuck. He would endure it if it meant that the pain in his chest would ease. He would endure it all if this anguished feeling fell to hell. He would if all these feelings could just disappear. If the pain that he felt when around Erwin could just go away.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this what you dragged me up for?”, he cried softly with no residence of actual tears falling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If this was what you wanted you should’ve just left me down there to rot” Levi cried falling to his knees desperate gasps falling. Eyes shaken staring down at the splintered wood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This hadn’t been how things were supposed to go. He was supposed to kill him. Given hundreds of chances to end his life and he hadn’t. He couldn’t even fathom the idea of it anymore. He didn’t know when but somewhere down the line he’d chosen to utterly devote himself to Erwin. He’d decided that Erwin was a cut above the rest and Levi chose to follow him to the depths of hell and then it became much more than that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi began to appreciate the little things, the little touches and looks they mutually shared. His companionship had been something Levi hadn’t been aware of until it was gone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To think that he would end up here. Miserable over a simple room change. Not even as a child after he’d lost his mother had he gone whining like a snot nosed brat to Kenny. He’d sucked it up and curled up in a chair ready for anything. He was such a damned embarrassment for whining over pitiful things, throwing tantrums. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually they would have to speak, they would have to push forwards because things were far from over. Blood would be shed in the future the realization dawned on Levi. More blood would be spilt on their hands. Letting feelings cloud his judgment, his actions by the walls, what he had been thinking. So much was to be down, Erwin had already so much to deal with without Levi’s pestering. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was the price for his return. These were the cards that he was dealt. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The cold breeze churned his blood, watching the horizon past the sea. Lifting his hand grasping at nothing, at air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were supposed to live Armin”, he whispered softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were the right choice, not the commander and I’m not saying this just because you were my friend”, Eren murmured falling to his knees against the disheveled sand. “ You were the right choice, the better choice but now I think the Captain has doomed us all”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess the only thing left is to see how everything plays out, to see what the commander does”, he whispers to the roaring winds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He makes me believe you know, he makes me believe we can be free without having to bloody my hands too much, he really does but that’s just a silly dream”, the ocean tide drew stronger past Erens knees. “ But even if it’s a silly dream I want to believe in it, I don’t want to hurt Mikasa like that. I want to believe in a world where we are all free”. <br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want it! I want a world where you lived Armin”, He cried out in desperation. “I want a world where we are all free where I can be with you and Mikasa! A world where we are all free and happy a world where everyone, you, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Hange, the Commander, and the Captain can be happy in”. <br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>Desperate tears trickled down as excruciating gasps fell in sync with pounding fists.Voided eyes fell shut resting against the cool sand. Soft shuffling drew the green irises open watching as hatchling sprung from the sand. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Yet again life was subjected to this hell on earth.</p><p> </p><p>He watched as baby turtles shuffled out of their nest desperately reaching for the water running to shield themselves. Seagulls flew before diving, ripping the helpless things from the ground tearing them limb from limb. Just born into the world and already experiencing pain, experiencing what it feels to lose loved ones. And then one hatchling turned back away from the sea instead running towards the seagulls. A distraction Eren soon realized, it was a distraction so the others may live. A suicide charge.But before anything was done a smaller turtle forced the larger hatchling to turn back to the ocean, another of their brethren was taken as a result. The large and smaller hatchling ran forward towards the ocean but then the larger one stomped over the smaller one. Crushing the smaller hatchling as the larger one made their escape. </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Captain”, Eren whispered watching as the trampled hatchling just barely made it into the depths of the ocean. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe things will turn out differently, I hope so”, Eren murmured in the dead of silence. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Levi?”, Hange called late into the night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Erwin dwelled and brooded through the entirety of yesterday after their conversation and while Hange chose to spare Levi for the day they soon found themselves before his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not having gotten through Erwin they hoped they could get through Levi. Both of course were stubborn as hell. But Erwin was simply the bane of stubborn, the outright representation of stubborn. Meanwhile Levi was stubborn but he was more bark than actual bite. Pestering him enough surely they could get something out of their temperamental captain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But surprisingly silence only floated about in the dark abyss of the halls as Hange pounded their fists against the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Levi?”, they tried again as they pressed the door open, surprisingly finding it open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The room was looming under a dark blanket. So empty and distant a chilling breeze tingled over their spine as they took a double take of the room. There was no traces of Levi. Where Levi had gone was another question to be added.They highly doubted Levi had gone to Erwin, but the fact of the matter was that Levi was gone. It would be something to ponder about for another time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before they made their way out of Levi’s room a single crumpled cloth caught their attention. Dried crusting stains tainted the white handkerchief. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Blood?”, they murmured, tracing their thumb over the stains.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An uneasy feeling set at the pit of their stomach as they placed the handkerchief back in place, folded to perfection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no reason for there to be a blooded handkerchief in Levi's room, Hange thought as they slipped back out of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Levi hadn’t been injured, he hadn’t been training and there had not been an expedition no less. Levi wasn’t clumsy in the slightest, he was articulate. So there was no plausible explanation as to why there had been a blood stained handkerchief.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone thank you for reading! </p><p>Follow me on Instagram @simpingdoodles.jack and on Twitter @DoodlingJack</p><p>Also my DM’s are open on Twitter and Instagram for scenes in this fanfic you wish to be recreated! That or you can comment down below any scene you may want recreated &lt;3</p><p>Love you all and thank you for all the kudos and reads, I appreciate you all &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! New Chapter every Sunday ! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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